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Hunting Is Evil!!! -- Posted by admin on Wednesday, September 8 2004
Whatever, I’m not gonna assume the role of some doped hippy, so I’ll say it to you plain and simple, “We have a new way to stop people hunting foxes!!!” Oh, did I mention that this is a preview of the fox that will be like Jesus for those ugly big red rats.
Ok, so this card actually looks fake. I got this from some random site but it is the card – flavor text. But that is what it will do.
Wow, this is my new favourite card. Imagine shooting at those foxes with your shotguns and then the fox goes “You can’t do that! I have protection!” then the judge of hunting comes over and says “He’s right, you can’t shoot and of his things cause he has protection.” Naturally, the huntsmen are slightly annoyed and consoles himself by targeting the foxes field with napalm, “You can’t do that either! See? I have protection!” So the huntsman realises he is fighting a losing battle and decides to send his dogs in after the fox. *Boof* *bash* *kershmack* [Insert idiotic cartoon noise here]. And the foxes escape and the dogs lie there in the graveyard. There is only one bad thing about this card; it cannot target your opponent’s creatures. If it could, it would be stupid so I guess that makes it ok.
Anyway, why do I like this card? Well, it’s because it gives you protection! Silly.
Here is the transcript of an imaginary conversation I had with eight-and-a-half-tails;
Me: Hey tails, you’re pretty cool, you’re a 2/2 for WW, wow wizards should be careful not to make white too powerful!
Tails: I’m more than that! I’m a legend, oh wait, I mean legendary, AND I’m a FOX!!!
Me: wow! A legendary 2/2 Fox for WW! Where do I sign?!
Tails: Steady on there, I’m also a cleric!
Me: *Holds gun to head* I loved you so much!! Then they made you a cleric *Pulls trigger*
Tails: *having given Me PROTECTION!! And made the bullet white!!* Now now, let’s not be rash.
Me: What just happened?
Tails: I gave you protection!!!
Me: Woah, I can’t wait to get a few of you and open a can of wupass protection!
Tails: Wait! There’s more! For a mere 2W, I can stop a creature of yours dieing in combat! Or I could stop a mean spell that would kill your creatures!
Me: When is the pre-release!??
Tails: Easy on, you never open good things in sealed.
Me: oh yeah…
{End Transcript}
So there you have it. I like Tails because he stops EVERYTHING!!! Except wrath of God. Your creatures are immune to everything!!! Except Wrath of God. Nothing can harm you!!! Except Wrath of God.
Well, I hope to bring you a few more pointless Kamigawa previews before its release. See you at the club!
Robert Wagner
Rob, or Jesus, as I know like to be known.
PS: Nezumi (the name for ratfolk in Kamigawa) actually translates to mouse! *cough* NICE ONE ROSEWATER*cough*
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